Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Wedding planning from the man’s perspective

Introducing Andrew Coates 

This is a new blog by one of our event interns, Andy, who took his first view into the world of weddings in his blog. Most men spend more time thinking about football than weddings, but Andy doesn't want brides to shut the grooms out from any decision making. Men want to have fun with planning too, and have their own opinions, even if its just what beer is served.

"When I was first asked to write a wedding blog, I have to admit I maybe wasn't as keen as I could have been. As a 22 year old guy, weddings aren't exactly my forte and I can’t say I've ever really thought about them too much. My friends got engaged a few months ago and when they told us the news, the girls in our group of friends went crazy. They started firing out hundreds of questions about everything from themes, to table centers and chair covers, to cake.

It was slightly different with the guys. I think there were 2 questions asked. ‘What are you doing for the stag do?’ and ‘is there an open bar?’ Yes was the answer to the second question and we suddenly got a little more interested.

With not much of an idea on what to base this blog on, I had a quick Google search to see what other wedding bloggers were writing about. There was plenty on dresses, food and themes, but only a handful for what men think about / might want at their wedding.

And as I was searching the internet, I started to realize how little input into the wedding the groom seems to have. Is this true or is it just because the blogs are directed to the bride-to-be’s? I imagine it’s a bit of both.
Therefore, I think it’s important that future brides realize that as a gender we probably do think about our wedding more than we let on. There are definitely areas that we don’t really want to get involved in (flowers all look alike to me), but at the same time there are areas that we do have an opinion on.

I found myself questioning the layout of some venues, loving the ideas of some wedding themes, choosing what music I would like and I've never cringed so much at some of the wedding photos I saw. Seriously, if the photographer at my wedding get’s me to jump with my best man for a photo, or to pick up the bride horizontally, then I will tell them where to go....

My advice to any future brides out there planning a wedding would be keep us well away of certain details. I don’t think I would be much help with the seating plan for example, but then let us have some fun on other areas.

I think as a gender we could shine when it came to choosing the car that we left in, organizing the alcohol, and for me personally, I think I would get very involved in the music we had.  If your fiancée is passionate about cars for example, then let him take charge of transport. I bet he would love to be responsible for choosing the cars you arrive and leave in, and it might mean he would stop being a hindrance to you as you got to grips with something he has little interest in. If you start to get fed up with how much he keeps going on about the cars, remember he’s probably thinking the same about the colour scheme!

I of course, am not suggesting that you were planning on shutting him out from any decision making, but I think I would be a lot keener in getting involved in the organisation if I had less responsibility on the table centres for example, and more on what beer was available. The day is for both of you after all. Whilst I think in most cases the bride has been thinking about the day for longer, a lot longer most probably, I bet the groom has a couple of ideas he would love to have on the day, and the wedding would benefit if it showed both sides of the couple.

This is by far the most I have ever thought about a wedding and my brain is starting to hurt. I’m the first to admit that a 22 year old male isn't the best person to ask for advice on weddings, but I’d like to think there are some valid points in my ramblings. I am also quite glad that my male friends will probably never see this blog as I am sure I would get some serious banter. I now feel I need to go and do something very manly so I am going to check the ashes score, see if there is anything interesting happening in the world of football and organize some beer and poker for my Friday night"

I love this perspective into the male psych on the topic of weddings, girls, lets perhaps relinquish some of the control, and get the grooms in on the fun! A big thank you to Andy for taking on a daunting topic, keep up the hard work!

For more on what our interns are up too, why not check out there twitter, or their own blog!

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